These Morons: A Fushigi A-kugi short, insane story
by Chiri
Summary: Two words: Pure insanity. (original characters: myself, and my friend) ... rated for mostly language!! @.@
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** ……Yuu Watase and Rumiko Takahashi (for the Jusenkyo springs curse thingy idea from Ranma ½ yyeahhhh) … we envy you … you own them and we don't ……… WHYYYYYYYYYY????? … but wait … we own ourselves…so NYAH!

**Also …:  **To figure out what the hell we're talking about and why this story was even created … check out: www.fushigiakugi.com … yyeahhh…OUR SITE … muahhahaha… and Mits is my friend, and obviously I'm Chiri … like in all my other fics lol

**_These Morons._**

**Chapter 1**

*scene changes to a dimly lit HUGE room with a fireplace … and right smack in the middle, is a big recliner poofy chair on a circular rug* *chair turns around slowly facing the 'victims' … muhahaha…Chiri has crazed smile on her face, in big poofy robe and bunny slippers, with a huge fat book on her lap and a pipe that blows bubbles in her mouth*

Chiri: *fake English accent, blowing bubbles out of the pipe* Hello boys and girls … I'm Chiri and I'll be telling you all about this lame-ass boring idiotic story of five morons and the curse that affected four of them. …The other goes completely insane … don't worry kiddies. *blows more bubbles ……*chokes on them* DAMN PIPE! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!!! *stomps it into the ground* ………………*kids staring* ……………WHATTYA LOOKIN' AT?!?! *looking around at the kids with huge eyes* YOU WANT SOMMA THIS?!?!??! COME ANNNNNDDD GET ITTTT!!! *runs around screaming* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *suddenly screen goes black, with "One Moment Please" in fancy script writing*

*scene goes back to the same room setting, the chair turns around and Mits is sitting there in the same clothes … no pipe…*

Mits: *fake English accent* Hello kiddies … I'm here as Chiri's replacement … as she … was hauled off by the S.W.A.T. team … *coughs* … ANYWAY … let's get on with our story, shall we? *opens fat book and starts reading* "It all began when …"

*scene takes place in the living room in our NYC apartment … ooo fun fun … Chiri, Chichiri, Tasuki, Mitsukake and Mits are all sitting in a pow-wow around a lil table*

Mits: I'm bored.

Chiri: We should go somewhere.

Mitsukake: Where?

Tasuki: We have no fuckin' money!

Chichiri: *random*… Let's go to China no da!

*pause … crickets chirp* 

Everyone: OKAY! *everyone gets up at the same time and runs up to their rooms to pack lots of 'important' crap*

Chichiri: *muttering to himself* … I guess since we're teleporting there no da …… Hey! *yelling at everyone while walking down the hallway* I have a weight limit, you know! *sweatdrops, watching Chiri go crazy packing 5000000 huge suitcases* O_O …

Chiri: *throws them out the door … and they hit Chichiri* I think this'll last me three days at least!! *walks out of the room and downstairs randomly*

Chichiri: . Ummm…*takes 499999 bags and throws them back into the room, and picks up one of them* Good enough no da …

*everyone else comes out of the room at the same time, with one bag … thank God…*

Chichiri: *whips out a scale and throws everything onto it* …I guess this'll do … it'll be a little tight no da … 

*everyone gallops down the stairs at the same time, leaving Chichiri there with all the bags*

Chichiri: *has the five bags piled one on top of each other in his arms walking down the stairs* … I can't … see *takes 3rd step, almost slips down the stairs* … no da! *takes another step, slips … falls down the entire staircase* 

*insert picture of a realist earthquake here*

Chichiri: Itai no da … *bags piled on him* _

Mitsukake: *pops out of nowhere and looks down at him* Need help?

Chichiri: No no da … I'm good … just fine … very comfortable here … UNDER THESE GODDAMN BAGS!! NO DAAAAAAAAA! *hyperventilates*

Mitsukake: … *quietly lifts the bags off and carries them into the living room as if they weighed nothing* … *starts juggling bags* WHEE! Lookit that! *starts laughing at Chichiri*

Chichiri: *whips out staff from nowhere and beats him over the head … the bags are on the floor now …*

Tasuki: Can we GO now?!?!

Mits: … Yeah … before ya kill him!

Chiri: … yeah that'd be nice… *blink*

Chichiri: *piles bags on top of the kesa, that mysteriously ended up flat out on the floor* *everyone walks on* *teleports*

Mits: *screaming* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *weight limit was too much … so she got thrown off into another dimension … not good…*

*Chichiri, Mitsukake, Tasuki, and Chiri pop into China…*

Chichiri: Well … we're here no da.

Tasuki: Yep.

Chiri: Uh-huh…

Mitsukake: …………………Heyyyyy wait a minute! *looks around* Where the hell is Mits?

*all three look around*

Chiri: … dunno.

Chichiri: …Wanna go swimming no da?

Everyone: YEAH! 

*pop into Jusenkyo springs … yes … randomly … no purpose … just the closest springs … ignoring all warning signs about the curses of the springs* 

Everyone: *blinks* ………YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *starts running into different springs … cuz we have no patience whatsoever…you know…*

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tasuki: *busts out of the water and screams* HHHHHOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY SSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT …………*looks down again*……WHAT THE HELL?! *runs around screaming*

*Mitsukake flaps out … literally*

Mitsukake: ……………… CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP …………-.-' ……………………O_O…………………0_0…………… (I didn't know birds could make such weird faces…)

*Chichiri walks out casually, shakes his fur and sits down*

Chichiri: …O_O……0_0 …………-.-;;;……………………

*Chiri floats to the surface and paddles slowly to the edge of the spring*

Chiri: …oink. …………………O_O ………… 0_0 ……………… -.-'

*Tasuki stops running and stares at the three animals … staring at each other … making these weird-ass faces…*

Tasuki: What the hell … …………*walks over really slowly, jabbing them each with his tessen* Yeah … this is normal … a pig … a fox … and a bird … MAKING FACES …… right … *pause, sitting down, talking to himself* and I'm a woman … when I hate them … and why the hell did I jump in a spring anyway??? … I hate water, you know … *looks down at the animals, staring at him with big eyes* …*looks down at the pig and sees a 'C' bracelet around it's neck* … O_O CHIRI?! … um … *picks up the pig and starts shaking it* WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!?! *starts freaking out now, looking down at the fox, hyperventilating* ……*looks at the fox's face* …… CHICHIRI?!?!?! O_O *grabs his heart, breathing harder* … *looks at the bird with huge eyes* … holy crap … *looks closer* … MITSUKAKE?!?!?! … YOU'RE SHORT NOW!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! 

*bird gets pissed off and attacks him … running at him … since he doesn't know how to fly yet …* *pecking the crap out of Tasuki*

Tasuki: AHHHHH! MAD BIRD! GETTIM' OFF!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chichiri and Chiri: *sweatdrop*

*Jusenkyo springs dude pops out of nowhere* 

Guy: Didn't you read the signs about the curses of the Jusenkyo springs?

Tasuki: Uh … no… *has bird in mini-headlock*

Guy: SUCKS FOR YOU! *runs away … skipping and laughing o.0;;;;*

Tasuki: …Shit.

*back to Mits…*

Mits: *appears in Spain* ……………………Ummm…must've took a wrong turn back there ……………………

TBC in Chapter 2!!

Sorry if this makes no sense whatsoever … lol … our reactions to our changes ? well, we're horrified, just so you know … but we're animals…and we cant talk lol ^^

Ummmm…yyeahhhh…*runs off*


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Tasuki: *after recovering from minor heart attack* … *whiny voice* Can we go hommmeee nowww??

Chichiri: *gives him a look*

Tasuki: Oh right … *gets the kesa … puts it flat on the ground and gets the staff and holds it up in front of him* 

Chichiri: *gives him another look and puts paw on one part of the staff*

*Chiri and Mitsukake kinda walk/hop onto the kesa*

*teleports back*

…………………………

*appears back in living room*

Tasuki: Wow…that was a great trip .. let's do it again sometime!! *looks down with pissed/sarcastic expression* GOOD JOB, CHICHIRI! *walks off grumbling … randomly decides to take a shower … gets blindfold and ties it on before getting in* …………………HOLY CRAP! YES! I'M BACK! *runs out of shower, forgets that he's butt naked … and runs down the stairs … gathers horrified animals and runs back up the stairs … then chucks them into the shower*

Tasuki: I figgered it out!! *remembers to put a towel this time…* HOT WATTAAAAA *turns it up REALLY hot* 

………*really long pause* ………………

Mitsukake, Chichiri, and Chiri: *looks at each other … looks at themselves … takes in deep breath* ………… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tasuki: *laughs* You're nakey!! 

Mitsukake: You're short!! *punches him*

Tasuki: … @.@ … *unconscious*

………………………………*another really long pause* ………………………

Everyone else: *running screaming out of the shower to their rooms*

~~ 10 minutes later …

*all three walk out of the room at the same time … clothed*

Chiri: I think it's time we should start thinking about where Mits is …

Chichiri: yeah no da…

Mitsukake: Maybe she went to … Spain?

Chiri and Chichiri: *nodnod* Methinks so (no da)

*teleports to Spain … yes … we left Tasuki in the bathroom with just a towel on … passed out*

Everyone: *sees Mits having a mental breakdown on the side of the road in the middle of Spain* 

Mits: *screaming* YO NO HABLO ESPANOL!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH *rocking back and forth in a fetal position*

Everyone: *shakes heads … approach her … drag her back*

*back at the apartment … again*

Mits: Where the fuck were you guys?! JEEZ … I was having the WORST time of my life … and FINALLY … FOUR HOURS LATER … YOU GUYS FINALLY DECIDE MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO LOOK FOR ME!!

Mitsukake: It was a good first guess …

Mits: … Yeah well…

Chichiri and Chiri: *silent*

Mits: So … what happened?

All three: Nothing (no da)

Mits: … four hours passed and nothing happened? 

All three: Nope (no da)

Mits: … where's Tasuki?

All three: Sleeping (no da)

Mits: Okay … …… *goes into kitchen and gets some ICE COLD lemonade …* Want some?

All three: *back away* N-no … (da)

Mits: You sure? It's really cold!! 

All three: We're sure (no da)

Mits: But it's really hot out!! *looks at them all sweating* Have some dammit!!

All three: NO!! ( DA!!) *all scatter, running upstairs*

Mits: …whatever… *walks upstairs, decides to take a shower* … *walks in … finds Tasuki 'sleeping' on the floor … in a towel … comfy* … What the hell … *kicks him out*

*Tasuki rolls lifelessly into the hallway*

*Mitsukake, Chiri, and Chichiri walk out and start to drag his body into his room*

Mits: *busts out the bathroom door, armed with plastic dinky little water gun … with cold water …* I'll cool you off another way!! MUHAHAHHAHA!! WATER WAR!!! *starts shooting madly*

All three: *screaming madly, running in all directions … going into each others' rooms … blahblahblah*

Mits: *goes after Chiri, who dives into the nearest room … which would be Mits' room* MUHAHAHHAHAH!!!! *busts open door and shoots her right in the face* MUAHHAHAHAH!!! I GOT YOU!! I … got … *looks down at little black piggie* … you … …………………………AHHHHHHH!!!!! What the hell?!?!?! *big eyes, staring* ……*slowly closes the door and runs screaming to Chichiri* CHICHIRI! CHICHIRI! SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG WITH CHIRI! 

Chichiri: I know no da . Shoot me no da

Mits: o.0 *raises water pistol and shoots him* ………………………………*turns around and runs to Mitsukake* MITSUKAKE! MITSUKAKE! SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH CHICHIRI ANNNDD CHIRI!! REALLY WRONG!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! *busts open his door and sees him standing there, with a blank look on his face*

Mitsukake: You'd better not try that on me …

Mits: …mwahahhaa……*shoots water gun right smack in Mitsukake's face* I TRIED IT! SO NYYYYYAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH …………………………*looks up* Hey, where'd ya go? … *slowly looks down to the sound of the chirping* … holy crap …*picks up the clothes and sees a tiny chickadee flapping his wings madly and chirping constantly* …what … is going on here ……*turns around and runs toward Tasuki's room, banging on the door really hard* TASUKI TASUKI THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH CHICHIRI, CHIRI, AAAANNNNDDD MITSUKAKE!! YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW US TOO?!?!? GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!!!! 

Tasuki: …*slowly opens door … awake … and clothed … lol* … *looks around the hallway … and sees a pig, fox, and a bird staring at him* … oh jeez … *runs past Mits and gathers up the animals again, shoving them in the shower and blasting the hot water* *runs out of the bathroom and slams the door behind him … and locks it so Mits won't get in*

Mits: …What the fuck is going on?!?! *shoots him with the gun* TALK!! …………………… *stares at Tasuki* … holy … *busts out laughing* What happened to you?!?! *keeps laughing*

Tasuki: Shuddup. *sweatdrop*

*hears banging and clashing of stuff inside the bathroom*

Chiri: GET ME OUTTA HERE DAMN IT!!! WHY THE HELL DID YOU LOCK THE DOOR?!?!? *beating the door down*

Mits: … now they're back?

Tasuki: Yep. *whips out blackboard and a piece of chalk* *starts writing* Hot Water = good … Cold Water = bad … get it now?

Mits: Kinda. … Lemme just think about this for awhile … *walks into room, slams door, and locks it* ……

*pause*

Mits: ………………AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *silence*

Tasuki: o_o;; She took that better than we expected … *hears chaos and havoc in the bathroom* … OH SHIT! *whips open the door and gets run over by Chiri in the lead, followed by Chichiri and Mitsukake* … oww…

*scene changes back to Mits, sitting in the armchair, closing the huge book*

Mits: … and Tasuki, without Mitsukake, would have had to endure about three weeks worth of broken bones and injuries … The end. *coughs* Well that story sucked ass! *gets up and walks out*

Chiri: *breaks back in* SOOO in conclusion: we turn into animals … little tiny animals … except for Tasuki … who is a woman … *laughs hysterically* … and Mits, who has to care for our sorry asses. Ha ha ha ha!! *throws the book in the fire and runs THROUGH the door, screaming and yelling at the top of her lungs*

**The end.**

**…and she's gonna be okay …**


End file.
